


Revenge

by katychan666



Series: The drunk adventures of Malec [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec roasting Jace for basically the whole fic, Humour, M/M, crackfic, drunk!Alec, drunk!magnus, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 09:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13948908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Alec getting back at Jace for making fun of him constantly and cockblocking him and Magnus all the time. The alcohol helps to untangle his tongue perfectly and Magnus has the time of his life listening to him.(Continuation of ''Can't handle how perfect you are''. But can be read alone as well).





	Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> So, another fanfiction involving alcohol, huh xD. But this time, both of them are drunk.  
> Sorry, I can't help myself. Writing drunk Malec is just too fun ~

''Alec, shut the fuck up!'' hissed Jace through his teeth, growing annoyed by his _parabatai_ 's behaviour. He didn't know what was going on with Alec, but the older one was annoying as hell. And his boyfriend wasn't any better either. The three of them and Isabelle were currently at the Pandemonium, Alec chugging drinks down like a champion, while Magnus was at least trying to pretend to be somehow elegant about it, but it was obvious that the alcohol was getting to Magnus as well; his speech had gotten a lot more slurred at he was unbelievably peppy. Jace rolled his eyes. Great. Now, they would had two drunks to deal with. He didn't sign up to be a fucking babysitter when he agreed to go out with Alec that day!

“Make me,” said Alec, stuck his tongue out and started laughing when he saw that Jace was even more annoyed than before, looking over at Magnus, who was sitting next to Izzy and enjoying the show. His head was feeling kind of fuzzy and the room started to spin, but he came to the conclusion that he could allow himself to have a few more drinks, looking at Isabelle, who was also having fun listening at Alec poking fun at Jace. However, as she was about to start making evidence for later on her phone, Magnus took the phone from her and shook his head.

“No, no, no, my dear Isabelle,” said Magnus and hiccupped. “Pardon me,” he said and let out a drunken giggle. “No filming of Alexander, you’ve done enough the last time,” he said and narrowed his eyes. “Besides, the only one who can film him, is me… doing much more interesting things than this,” said the warlock and Isabelle started grinning, but didn’t pressure again, not wanting to anger Magnus.

“Ah. I didn’t know my brother was into that kind of stuff,” joked Isabelle and Magnus whistled.

“Oh, then you don’t know Alexander at all,” said Magnus, taking the glass of martini into his hand and emptied it in one big gulp and looked over at Alec, who was having the time of his life as he was sipping on his fifth – or sixth – beer already. Jace, on the other hand, was red in the face, anger boiling inside and the warlock grinned. “Jacey, Jacey, why the long face?” asked Magnus and Jace said something under his breath, which Magnus couldn’t make out what it was. “It’s rude to mumble,” he then said, speech slurred and Jace rolled his eyes.

“Jacey’s just annoyed because Clary blew him off today,” snickered Alec and earned a punch from Jace, but he didn’t let that shut his mouth. “Oh, yes, she’s rather spending time with Simon,” said Alec, enjoying himself. He was getting back to Jace for the time he and Isabelle left him all alone in the bar and he had to make all the way back to Magnus’ apartment alone and heavily drunk. Also for all of the times that Jace made fun of him. And interrupted his time with Magnus. Honestly, the list could go on and on.

“Can’t blame her. Sheldon’s more fun than Blondie,” said Magnus.

“Simon had a concert with his band, so that was why Clary went with him. To support him, as a _friend_ ,” explained Jace, painfully slowly and Alec rolled his eyes.

“Sure,” said Alec and nodded, but then shook his head when he looked over at Magnus. “Also, have you ever noticed that your girlfriend looks like a carrot? Her hair is just so… orange,” said Alec and while Magnus started laughing, Jace looked at Isabelle, who just shrugged, but when he looked away, a grin spread across her face and she couldn’t deny it. It was fun seeing Jace being the one on the teasing end.

“Oh yeah?” asked Jace. “Well, your boyfriend over here looks like a Christmas tree,” said Jace, his poor comeback making all of the other three laugh.

“Christmas trees are pretty,” said Alec and then looked over at Magnus, his eyes transforming into hearts and he sighed happily. “And shiny. Just like Magnus. Yes, he is pretty and shiny,” said Alec and then looked at Jace. “And carrots are just… carrots. Boring. And not really tasty. So, I win,” he announced, drunk smile spread across his face and he then clapped to himself.

“He has a point, you know,” said Isabelle and Jace gave her a dumbfounded look.

“You’re on their side too?” asked Jace and Isabelle only shrugged.

“Everyone who is smart is on the side of The High Warlock of Brooklyn,” announced Magnus proudly and Alec perked up.

“And The Head of the Institute,” chimed Alec in and Magnus giggled.

“Who gives a good head,” whispered Magnus into Isabelle’s ear, whose eyes widened and even though she was used to practically everything, that caught her off guard. Magnus looked completely unphased as he reached over for the new glass of martini and slowly sipped on the drink, lifting the glass high up in the air, congratulating himself for having so talented boyfriend, raising an eyebrow, playfully batting his eyelashes when Isabelle shook her head.

“Wow, you must be really drunk,” commented Isabelle and Magnus nodded.

“I might be,” said Magnus and as he looked up, the lights dancing in front of his eyes, he nodded and then looked over at Isabelle. Izzy’s prediction was correct, he was drunk. “You were right, I appear to be drunk,” said Magnus and Isabelle only laughed.

“Oh, oh, oh!” said Alec when he emptied his fifth – or sixth – glass of beer and then rubbed his palms together, getting ready to tell another story about Jace. The past hour was let’s-see-how-embarrassed-we-can-make-Jace-feel hour, because Alec kept on telling embarrassing stories from Jace’s life. “Do you still have that teddy bear mom gave to you?”

Jace went red into the face at that and Magnus’ loud laughter could be heard miles away. “Alec, stop it, I’m warning you!” said Jace and adverted his gaze from the warlock, who was now practically rolling on the floor with laughter, tears forming in his eyes. “And for the record, I’ve never owned a teddy bear. That’s just-”

“Mom gave it to you when you were ten! And you used to sleep with it until you were… what? 16?”

“I didn’t.”

“But you loved Mr. Pringles!” said Alec and just as he said that, Magnus started laughing again, because how couldn’t he?

“You named the teddy bear Mr. Pringles?!” managed to ask Magnus in between his laughter, arms wrapped around his stomach, which was now hurting from laughing and Isabelle was now laughing as well, because it was true. No matter how much Jace wanted to hide the past, Mr. Pringles was a part of him. “That’s too good to be true.”

“It’s true,” said Izzy and Alec nodded.

“Mom gave him a duck plush, but I had to come rescue him because he was scared of that toy,” went on by saying Alec, words just falling out and even if he wanted to stop himself, he couldn’t. Alec could see that Jace was annoyed, but it served him right. He would always make fun of him when he would get drunk, so now he was just returning the favour.

“Alec. Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” said Jace and Magnus gave him an offended look.

“Hey, you don’t talk to Alexander like that,” said Magnus and with a flick of his fingers made Jace’s mouth close shut, so that Alec could continue telling his story. “Go on, darling, what was that about a duck?” he asked, interested and he sent a wink to Jace as the other was struggling to speak, but when he saw that Magnus had that under control with his magic, he just folded his arms on top of his chest and rolled his eyes, wanting to disappear.

“Jace is afraid of ducks,” said Alec, speech slurred again and he hiccupped, but then looked over at Magnus, who was laughing again. “Just a week ago, when we went to a park for a mission, he didn’t dare to go close to it until I got rid of the ducks there,” said Alec and Isabelle face palmed herself when she remembered that. Yes, that was embarrassing as hell, even for her.

“Really?” asked Magnus and narrowed his eyes, flicking with his fingers and a small duck appeared in the air, floating above his hand, blue sparks flying underneath it and he unmuted Jace, wanting to put that to the test. Jace’s eyes widened when he saw a floating duck coming near him and tried to play it cool, but when it appeared on top of his nose, he freaked out so much that he ended up losing balance and he fell off from his chair.

“Okay, Alec, now I’ve had it! It’s enough!” said Jace as he picked himself off the floor and Alec shrugged.

“So now you know how it feels,” said Alec and narrowed his eyes. “When we go out, you always make fun of me. Izzy too, but it’s usually you who starts it,” said Alec and sighed. “And not only that, but you take videos of me as well. Not to mention showing them to all of the people you know. Even Simon, for God’s sake,” said Alec and Jace felt his ears heating up, because his _parabatai_ had a point.

“Oh,” said Jace and Alec nodded. “And why have you been like this to me, then?” he asked and turned to the warlock.

”Because it’s fun,” said Magnus and shrugged. “I don’t like you very much,” he said and Jace gave him an offended look. “Fine, that was a lie. I’m starting to warm up to you. However,” he said and made a short pause. “You really need to stop interrupting me and Alexander every single fucking time. Use the phone. Or at least the doorbell, which my loft is fully equipped with,” said Magus, wanting to put it into words less harsh, but due to the alcohol in his system, he didn’t have a filter. “And same goes for you, my dear Isabelle. Stop taking videos of Alec when you go out and using them later on for blackmail. It’s not cool.”

“Yeah, I know. And I’m sorry,” said Isabelle and Magnus nodded, believing her words. “It won’t happen again.”

“It better not, because I’m coming for you if it does,” said Magus, joking now and Izzy gave him a little smile back, while Jace was now just looking down in his lap, learning his lesson and decided to keep his mouth shut for the rest of the day, while Alec was wearing a proud smile. They sat in silence like that for a few moments, until Magnus got onto his feet and offered his hand to Alec.

“Wanna dance?”

“Yes!” said Alec happily and allowed himself to be pulled up onto his legs. As the two of them were on the dance floor, Alec’s arms went around Magnus’ waist, pulling him close and a smile was on the warlock’s lips as they danced. “You think they learned their lesson?” asked Alec and Magnus nodded.

“I think so. Jace sure did,” said Magnus and grinned, looking up at Alec, who was looking down at him. “You feeling okay? You had quite a lot to drink, so-”

“Oh, I’m fine,” said Alec and shrugged. “Just a bit tipsy, but that’s all.”

“Okay,” said Magnus happily and Alec started laughing when Magnus spun them around, Alec leaning down and they kissed slowly as the music transformed into a slower paced one, their lips not parting as they continued slowly swaying to the rhythm of the song.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> Comment and leave kudos if you liked it :)
> 
> Come and follow me on [Tumblr](http://katychan666.tumblr.com/) if you want =)


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